I type at a 100wpm and my brain moves even faster than that. Don't flatter yourself into thinking that I'm 'wasting' more than 0.14% of my life on you. Besides, is it really wasted if I find it entertaining?
A few clapbacks:
1. I'm well aware of the schedule feature on Facebook pages. I ran one before you decided to bite my style. My posts were all scheduled. I'm also aware of the schedule feature on the blogs -- how do you think this one was posted? I spent an hour on the morning of Christmas Eve's Eve posting about you (and Marisa. I didn't want to drop two blogs in one day. It's more fun to drag it out. Oops. Ya caught me). You suckers spent Christmas posting about me.
And I prefer Google over Wordpress for several reasons that I won't bother getting into here. Namely, I value content over "pretty". That's the fundamental difference not only in our blogs, but our character as well.
2. I didn't have to use a photoshop app to alter your boyfriend's arrest record. That's what is listed publicly. I find the truth is a lot more effective than a lie. Here it is again, searched from my computer and not a phone.
Here's the link if you'd like to look for yourself: https://www.localcrimenews.com/welcome/detail/834380/no
Your big, long, overcompensating story sounds really hardcore and all... but congrats, Crystal! You don't have an arrest record! So, I'm not buying it. I don't care about your bullshit story. I only care about what can be proven. Sounds like I hit a nerve as well?
Awwwwwwwwww, I'm not as pretty as Regina?! Ouchie, Duckface you really got me there! But, hey, since we're opening up the playing field to insults like "you're so ugly/fat/whatever" let's roll with it.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, bitch. You've got fucking JOWLS! No wonder all your pictures are in duckface format. Your teeth look only a couple years away from full-blown meth mouth.
Are you wishing you didn't call me out for calling you out on calling me out now?
3. I might be surprised how supportive your boss and manager are of your wasting hundreds of dollars of payroll fucking around on Facebook. People surprise me all the time. But, seeing as you haven't answered me with a blog yet and the memes have drastically lessened this past week I'm thinking I'm barking up the right tree. I screenshot everything, I'm organized, I'm well-written and the downside for you -- I'm patient.
I might remind you that you started posting about me first. Everything I've written has been in response to some feeble attack on me. Don't get all capslock on me just because I'm better at it.
4. .....The Kardashians and "half the world" make a duck face in 100% of their profile pictures so you do? HAHA. You just cited the Kardashians as a role model and want to talk to me about being a 'boss'. HAHAHAHA. And "half the world" is doing it! But that's not basic somehow? This is the dumbest logic you've presented thus far.
For real though, I don't even know why I have to state this, but here goes: Half the world doesn't make a duck face in their pictures. Probably not even 10% of millennials. Just insecure females that use a shit-ton of filters to try and make themselves look presentable. If I had a face like yours, I'd probably try to suck it in with some duckface, too.
5. WHY ARE WE YELLING? ARE YOU MAD? If you aren't using your actual name then you're hiding. (Also, that goes against Facebook's terms and conditions. You could be reported and made to prove your real name. Just sayin'.) If you were actually worried about psychos and strangers you'd stay off social media completely. You're probably hiding from your employer because you're aware that your online presence is fucking trashy. At least, I hope you have the self-awareness to know that posting about cocaine, duckface pictures, and flipping off the camera with your IDGAF lifestyle is trashy.
I already knew you were in foster care. Your name being 'Crystal' was kind of a giveaway as to why. None of this is shocking, nor do I care. My adopted sister grew up in foster care. From 3-years-old until she aged out. Her parents were heroin addicts. Do you know what she did with her life? She threw everything she had into excelling in school. She knew that was her only shot out of a shit life. She got a full ride to any college she wanted. She just had her 24th birthday. She's a mom now and she's amazing at it. She's also a microbiologist and making bank. She's a fucking badass.
I hope you weren't looking for pity points because you were in foster care, though.
Haha. You haven't seen me angry. You've seen me amused. I don't know why you'd want to see me angry? I've shown you I have the nuke codes so why would you want to test it? If I came across some crazy bitch online that dug up even half the shit I have on you, I'd bow out faster than a virgin on prom night. I'd say, "Fuck you, Marisa. It was fun but this bitch is crazy and your drama isn't worth losing my job over." Then again, I have a brain in my skull. You? Debatable. Are your sisters encouraging this? Do they not like you? My sisters love watching me roast some mouthy cunts, but I think even they would advise I take my exit before shit got real if the roles were reversed here.
It's unfair Marisa didn't warn you before she let you run in waving your knife in this gun fight. The exact thing happened to her. Natalie sent in minions, Marisa was one of them, and I chewed her up and spit her out. Then she went crying on social media to strangers and here you are, risking your own livelihood over a welfare whore that refuses to be an adult and accept accountability for anything in her life.
Continue the game if you'd like. If you think I won't follow through, you're giving me too much credit for being the better person. But go ahead, try me.
XOXO
The Wonderbitch
No comments:
Post a Comment
Before commenting, know that you are giving permission to be completely mocked by the author in an upcoming blog post. ;)