Those That Live In Glass Houses

So, this chick shows up on my page and calls me a whore, says I know nothing of her life, but clearly doesn't know who I am or she'd have seen this coming.

Okay, let's learn a little more about her and put her Facebook life in chronological order. This is fun. Marisa has had a string of bad luck when it comes to men. But all that is about to change. She's found The One. The man that is going to take care of her and her children for the rest of their leeching lives.

March 18th, Steve declares they aren't having sex yet. They want to take things slow. 

*Again, is it weird for anyone else that this dude's name is Steve?*

So slow that it only takes four days to start having sex and make their relationship "Facebook Official".

She got herself a good one this time. Nothing like the last guy(s). But grandma isn't convinced. She already knows what kind of girl her granddaughter is. 

Steve also jumps in to assure Grandma that he's not looking to have any more kids.

That's comforting, Steve. Thank you. I hope you wrap it up though. This girl's got a track record.

Four days into the relationship and she's soooo happy!

Six days in and we're already announcing Save The Dates! Way to take it slow, kiddo. But Mom says slow it down. 

Steve's not putting a ring on it. 

One week in and he's just perfect! 

Three weeks and four days in, and then a like, totally super vague announcement!! Oh my, what could it be?!

Gasp! No, Kayla. She couldn't be! She promised Grandma and they're taking things slow!

Oh. Whew! It's just another engagement announcement. After dating for 30 days. 

 It's true love, you guys! It's a beautiful thing. I'm a terrible person for enjoying this train wreck.

.

One month and one week into the relationship and she's requesting pickles on pizza? That's an interesting request. Hmmmmm....

 Uhhh, no one wants it #Muffintop. 

I think you guys better bump up that conversation. 

One month, one week and three days and it's for sure you guys. She's finally found her happy ending fairy tale man.

Are you still enjoying these old conversations? I certainly am.

She's found the real deal this time, guys. She's found a real man. He's going to be a good father! Not like those other losers she procreated with.

Two months and almost two weeks later, it's still absolute bliss with the new lovebirds, in case anyone forgot. 

There it is! That puts her conception date at...April 18th? After they weren't even dating for *gasp!* a whole month?! Grandma must have been so disappointed. :( 

Yup, definitely pregnant. She's so proud of her newest little WIC payment!

OH NO!!! Just shy of three months together and it's already splitsville with Prince Charming. What happened?! I thought he was different? You just knew he was The One? 

My heart just breaks for BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Karma indeed, bitch. Who's the whore now? 

I kinda like this dude. 

I'll just leave this here. ;)

Truce.

This blog was originally posted on August 5th, 2014.

Show me that you have a heart and I'll show you mine. Show me that you're smarter than the rest and I will not snub your mistakes. Show me that you have a conscience and I will put my fangs away. Do something bigger than yourself. I won't demand that you publicly apologize, because I don't care. It's not the apology that's important to me. It wasn't even the lies I had a problem with. It's the example you're setting.

My mission was not to publicly ridicule you. Only you would care enough to seek out what I had to say, and I knew that. You left me no other avenue. I debated for months whether or not I would show you my blog. Writing is my outlet, and I left pieces of my soul in these texts that I wasn't ready for you to see. I'm not all viciousness all the time.

I love him. I hope you'll never have to crumple to the bathroom floor with the man you love and hold him while he sobs for his children. I will never stop fighting for him or fathers like him, but I hope that I won't have to fight you forever.

Live your life and be proud of your choices. You don't need to tell everyone about it. They'll see it themselves. If they don't notice, then they don't care enough about you anyway, so fuck 'em. Rid yourself of toxic people. If you can't, then don't feed into them. Look at their lives and ask yourself if you want to be where they are. Some things you've posted have been true; you will never succeed if you're holding onto resentments, guilt and negativity. I hope you can understand that's why he didn't fight with you. He doesn't want to get dragged into all that shit his whole life, or he'll never succeed. He has come so far in such a short time. I'm not trying to brag. You would be proud of him too, if you were in my shoes.

Take yourself off my list of targets. Don't be that girl. Don't be my bad example. Stop keeping score. Do the right thing and I will sing your praises.

This is your olive branch. You only get one. Do not squander an opportunity to change your life. 

I will remove any direct shots at you from my blog and wherever else, as I find them. Do not nitpick me. Some things that you've taken offense to were never directed at you in the first place. Trust that if it's vague, it's probably not about you. This is my promise and I don't break them. I am nothing else, if not honest. 

Parental Alienation and Personality Disorders

This blog was originally posted on Happier Endings on July 21st, 2014.

Now, it's not breaking news that I'm passionate about the Fathers' Rights Movement and Parental Alienation Awareness. I'm active on forums, my own Facebook page, and I speak out often about my positive experiences with co-parenting. I've been on this journey long enough that I've noticed some similar personality traits among the drama baby mamas. It is my opinion that the root of all parental alienation cases is a parent with a personality disorder. Only someone with a legit malfunction could justify emotionally scarring a child for their own selfish reasons, while touting the tired old adage "for the best interest of the child." It's deplorable. There really is no excuse, but there is an explanation.

There are a few personality disorders that tend to be more prevalent in parental alienation: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic and Narcissistic.These disorders are often overlooked because people see behavior as a personality trait and never think they might be the symptoms of a disease. Oftentimes, the closer you are to a person, the harder it is to see that they're sick. (I grew up with a textbook psychopath and never knew it until the neighbor pointed it out. It blew my mind. I just thought he was an asshole.)

Here are some short descriptions of the few disorders:



Antisocial - Impulsive, irresponsible, deviant, unruly. Acts without due consideration. Meets social obligations only when self-serving. Disrespects societal customs, rules, and standards. Sees self as free and independent. People with antisocial personality disorder depicts a long pattern of disregard for other people rights. They often cross the line and violates those rights.


Borderline - Unpredictable, manipulative, unstable. Frantically fears abandonment and isolation. Experiences rapidly fluctuating moods. Shifts rapidly between loving and hating. Sees self and others alternatively as all-good and all-bad. Unstable and frequently changing moods. People with borderline personality disorder has a persuasive pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships.


Histrionic - Dramatic, seductive, shallow, stimulus-seeking, vain. Overreacts to minor events. Exhibitionistic as a means of securing attention and favors. Sees self as attractive and charming. Constant seeking for others' attention. Is characterized by constant attention-seeking, emotional overreaction, and suggestibility. This personality's tendency to over-dramatize may impair relationships and lead to depression, but sufferers are often high-functioning.


Narcissistic - Egotistical, arrogant, grandiose, insouciant. Preoccupied with fantasies of success, beauty, or achievement. Sees self as admirable and superior, and therefore entitled to special treatment. is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings.

Some of these probably resonate more strongly than others when thinking about your craziest of crazy exes. Let me be the first to say that I'm sorry you had to go through that, or that you still are. But there is some comfort in knowing why they are the way that they are. There is also comfort in knowing that it's not you, it's them, despite however much they may blame and manipulate you and everyone else into thinking so. There are support groups for loved ones, but unfortunately not a lot of hope for treatment of the affected individual. They tend to be too deep in their delusions and denial to accept that there is something wrong with them.

I felt it important to explain these things before I continue on with any further blogs about our current parental alienation situation. I will use Natalie for my examples because A) she gives me a lot of screenshots to use as evidence and B) she loves the attention. Natalie has Histrionic and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This comes as no surprise as these two often go hand-in-hand.

A mnemonic that can be used to remember the characteristics of histrionic personality disorder is "PRAISE ME":

• Provocative (or seductive) behavior
• Relationships are considered more intimate than they actually are
• Attention-seeking
• Influenced easily
• Speech (style) wants to impress; lacks detail
• Emotional lability; shallowness
• Make-up; physical appearance is used to draw attention to self
• Exaggerated emotions; theatrical

And some notable symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder:

Expects to be recognized as superior and special, without superior accomplishments

Expects constant attention, admiration and positive reinforcement from others

Envies others and believes others envy him/her

Is preoccupied with thoughts and fantasies of great success, enormous attractiveness, power, intelligence

Lacks the ability to empathize with the feelings or desires of others

Is arrogant in attitudes and behavior

Has expectations of special treatment that are unrealistic

Things you will notice about Natalie's Facebook posts: They are always about her, they are attention-seeking, many will reference her "haters", she will often elude to or outright call herself a victim of something (abuse, bullying, etc.), grandiose self-worth ("I am so awesome!"), and many will talk of her daughter whom she uses as an instrument for her attention-seeking. She rarely uses her daughter's name but opts for the possessive terms "my/mine". As often is the case with narcissistic parents, she sees her child as an extension of herself ("my minime!") and a tool to promote her own self image. Narcissistic parents are often controlling, excessively possessive and often hold unhealthy attachments to their children. They are very sensitive to criticisms of their parenting. Narcissistic parents will go to great lengths to ensure that they are the only parent as they are often envious of the child's bonds with anyone else.

Numbnuts

This blog was originally posted on Happier Endings on May 20th, 2013.

In the weeks leading up to the MOST EPIC WEDDING EVER my sister and I were getting tipped off that my brother's psycho baby mama was planning some sort of sabotage. She's been known to slash tires and vandalize property so we didn't know what she had up her sleeve this time and we weren't willing to take any chances. She had mentioned on Facebook that she was traveling down to Phoenix from New Mexico for dinner at Cheesecake Factory. Which coincidentally, was one exit away from the wedding venue. Why would someone want to travel 6 hours and 45 minutes for Cheesecake Factory when there's one 3 blocks from their house on the DAY OF their ex's wedding? Yea, no. This overprotective big sister won't be having none of that.

So the night before the wedding I took it upon myself to text her and let her know that we were on to her and I wasn't going to tolerate anymore of her bullshit. The following is a transcript of the conversation that took place.

Me: I just wanted to let you know, if you got the incredibly stupid idea of fucking with my brother and sister, that I have something special planned for you. :) -Sam
Numbnuts: Who the hell is this?
Me: It's Sam. Hence the "-Sam"
Numbnuts: I think you have the wrong number
Me: You know who I am. And I know it's the correct number. You should google yourself every once in awhile.
Numbnuts: Lol omg fat Sam? I can go wherever I want whenever I want. When are you idiots going to learn that I've deleted you from my life. My world has nothing to do with [your brother]. And thanks for the threat. It will be passed on to my lawyer!
Me: I've seen your pictures girl, and your lopsided fake ass tits don't even balance out that belly you're rocking. And I know you're not as quick witted as I, so I'm offering you a word of caution. It would be in your best interest to heed it.
(Recently she had to have corrective surgery on her breast implants because one of them migrated to her armpit. I knew it would be a touchy subject, but I'm also not one to pass up such an opportunity to take a stab at someone so deserving.)
Numbnuts: Oh you hurt my feelings :( lol text me again and I will file a harassment injunction on you as well! Have a nice day
Me: Not a threat. A cautionary word of advice. Consult your lawyer. I'm sure they would advise you to steer clear.
Numbnuts: I have no want to see [your brother] or his tramp or have anything more to do with you people. Get a life and leave me alone. Why are you so interested in my life? You back off and try to come near me. You'll be sorry. Not me. 
Um, huh?
Me: Stay out of my radius and we won't have a problem. Funny calling her a tramp though. From all accounts it sounds like you're still whoring around on your current mangina. 
Numbnuts: Uh ok whatever you say Sam. You are now officially blocked so anything you say won't be seen. Have a nice life. Get a life and stop trying to be a part of mine!


Not long after our conversation my brother got an email from her mother saying that Numbnuts was being harassed by his family and they were going to pursue it in court. The texts were "vulgar and inappropriate". All correspondence was being cc'd to Numbnut's aunt. Please. Take me to court. A judge would throw all of that out in two seconds flat. We were also amused that she ran to her mommy to tattle on me. Whaaa waaaa. 

On the bright side, I rattled her, which was my objective. Her and her fiance deleted their facebook accounts and she never showed her face at the wedding. We all had a blast and everything went off without a hitch. She's miserable and we're all one big happy family. Win win!



<3

Karma's a Wonderbitch

This blog was originally posted on Happier Endings on April 12, 2013.

I don't believe in karma. I used to, but then I watched evil people shit on good people and go about their lives untouched. Karma is supposed to hit you threefold, right? If that were the case, a lot of my enemies would come up with untimely baldness, tragic injuries, or dead. Instead they got promotions, extravagant gifts, nice apartments, devoted (and undeserved) lovers, and life is looking pretty good for them. So I decided, if needed, I'll just have to take karma into my own hands. If that involves a few misdemeanors, morally questionable behavior (temporarily, of course) or the occasional brawl, so be it.

Things that would normally go unsaid because I grit my teeth and thought, "Karma will take care of them," are now spoken. If a girl sleeps with my boyfriend, it has not been beneath me to find her boyfriend and sleep with him (if he's hot, of course). That one is doubly effective because it pisses her and my ex off at the same time. I never pass up an opportunity to be more efficient! I haven't slashed any tires as of yet, but that is not out of the realm of revenge possibilities. I've written many notes in lipstick and grease pens on windshields, however. Those are my usual go-to because I get to use my words and that shit is a royal pain in the ass to get off. I can be positively lethal with a keyboard and an internet connection. My creativity has no bounds.

My favorite sort of homemade karma is the kind that goes completely untraced. The kind that is perfectly executed and leaves the target reeling and thinking, "Why is this happening to me?!" I'll tell you why! It's because you fucked with the wrong broad. Or that broad's friends or family. (That usually renders a harsher punishment, actually.) I have a knack for plotting the perfect plan with the most ironic impact. Every once in awhile the universe helps out a little and I'm left laughing and thinking, "That couldn't have gone better if I'd planned it myself!" Which makes me think that what I'm doing isn't totally unwarranted after all.

I had a friend that was the target of a psycho ex-girlfriend. The psycho threw a bucket of paint all over her new car. I was instantly outraged and asked for her address. But she said she didn't want the bad karma, and refused. Shit, I'll handle her and not tell you about it if that's what it takes! Why would you protect your aggressor when you've got crazy friends in your back pocket? I am her bad karma. Let me do what I do best. My name is Karma.

And Karma is a wonderbitch!

Crazy Baby Mamas

This blog was originally written on Happier Endings on April 10th, 2013.

I am overdue for a good roast. And nothing gets me more fired up than crazy baby mamas. I am fucking surrounded by these women. Between my brothers, friends, and boyfriend's past lovers, I have ample fuel for this fire. The Crazies have different methods, but each one is just as deplorable as the next. Be it trashing her baby daddy to anyone that will listen, martyrdom, manipulation, going ballistic on the new girlfriend, or having the father of her children arrested on completely false charges, I don't know how any of these bitches can look at themselves in the mirror.

Today's featured reproductive terrorists will not be named outright, but referred to by their common nicknames. I'll list them in birthing order: That Bitch Who Blocked Me On Facebook ('Blocker' for short), and Numbnuts. There's more, but I don't want to turn this post into a novel.

Before I start flaming my brothers' baby mamas (Oops. Did I just give them away?) I would like to clarify that I don't hate all of them. Number One is the clear family favorite and crazy in all the right ways. Number Three is sweet as pie and still stays involved but stays clear of baby mama drama. I have nothing but respect for the both of them and their decisions.

First up is Blocker. (Which isn't fair to call her that I guess, since all of the psycho baby mamas that I detest have me blocked on facebook. But she's the only one I had a public falling out with.) Her favorite tactics include shittalking, shittalking in front of the kids, pathological lying, martyrdom, isolation, and public facebook rants. I'm sure she's got a plethora of bad mama tricks that I don't know about, but these are the ones that I've been privy to. Over the years the family and I have rolled our eyes at her ceaseless tales of some form of drama or another in her life. The villain is almost always cast as one or both of her baby daddy's. Fine, she wants to gripe to us because she thinks we'll relate, whatever. I'll tolerate it because I love the kid, but I'm not going to talk about it in detail while we braid each other's hair. And then one fateful day...

Blocker made a public status that appeared to be blatantly attacking her baby daddy. I commented with something well thought out and tasteful about restricting the comment to just her friends. Not to mention, her kid could see the status as well. Long argument short, she said I was forbidden from seeing the kid, said I was 'no better a mother than a crackhead on the street', and blocked me on facebook, deleted all of my more intelligent comments, and continued her little circle jerk with a fellow Crazy. Here's how I see it, bitch. If your baby daddy is such a terrible loser scrub then what does that make you? You're the terrible loser scrub that couldn't find a better man and got knocked up because you couldn't figure out how birth control works. Y'know the old fortune cookie game in which you add 'in bed' to the end of your fortune? That's what I do when I hear CBM's talking about their ex. "He's such a fucking loser. He can't even keep a job or pay me child support and blah blah blah!" And in my head I'm adding, "....that you had sex with." 

I can almost feel bad for Blocker. She had some mighty classy shoes to fill after Number One. Perhaps if she didn't have her gossiping head so far up her ass she could have taken a few lessons. Number One had more reason to talk shit than any of them because she was with him the longest and got dragged through Hell and back twice, then back again for good measure. But after all of it, all she had to say to me was, "I believe that he loved me the best he knew how." BAM. Respect. That's how a fellow Bad Bitch handles herself, underling!

Next up is Numbnuts. (I didn't actually have the pleasure of nicknaming this one. If it were up to me, I would have named her Gangbanger. And not because she thinks she's thuggin'.) She's a master manipulator. Her favorite pastimes include publicly trashing her ex, terrorizing the new (and improved!) girlfriend, flipping out so dramatically that she actually had to be committed (wow), stalking, and revolving court orders. I actually can't think of anything on the list of nefarious acts that she hasn't done. I detest this broad more than any other person on the planet. And that's pretty impressive since I'm not one for grudges. But every time I almost forget about her, she does something new to stoke the fire. My mom had to save her life twice, with my arm fully cocked back. It's a good thing, too. I can't guarantee that chick would have a face left after I see red.

Nothing pisses this chick off more than other people being happy despite her best efforts to destroy everything she touches. The new girlfriend (soon to be wife!) and I bonded immediately because we both have two huge things in common: Numbnuts' baby daddy is one of our favorite people in the whole wide world so we love nothing more than to see him happy and we hate Numbnuts. It's actually hard to tell which one of us despises her more. So, naturally, we rub it in by tagging each other publicly in adorable posts and pictures. We know stalker-bitch is probably checking up on at least a weekly basis. The correlation between our posts and the venomous emails received is too close to be considered coincidence. Moral of this story: You don't get to be a completely abominable girlfriend and then turn into a rabid baby mama when he finally leaves your ass for a MUCH better woman. Just give up and accept that he's happy now, and he doesn't love you. (Not to mention he's clearly the more stable parent, so you should give that up, too.)

There's something else I don't get about crazy baby mamas. What's the deal with doing everything in your humanly power to keep loving fathers out of children's lives, but then you turn around and dump the kids on any friend or family member that's available so that you can run around with some new boyfriend? If you aren't going to be around for more than 50% of that child's life because you've put yourself first, then why not let them be with the parent that wants them around 100% of the time? I guess I'll just never fully understand the mind of a Crazy Baby Mama.


<3

Enough Is Enough.

I had another blog that I created for amusement, inspiration and a means to write about whatever I wanted to get the creative juices flowing. But it morphed into something else. Something that I still stand for, but not necessarily synonymous with the theme I'd intended for the blog. On my journey as a woman and a mother I was assaulted by these detestable females that go against everything I believe in. Vicious girls that live off of their own entitlement and bullshit. I had to write about it. I had to vent. I had to get it out of my head and give it to the universe (albeit a virtual one).

What started as a way to defend loved ones had turned into something more. Now it's a mission to out these unfortunate atrocities that I share a gender with. I'm an old school feminist. I believe women should be just as equal as men. Equal pay, equal rights, stature, opportunity. Today's society has shifted. The new age femnazis have taken things too far. We shouldn't have laws put into place that "protect" women while demonizing men. We shouldn't have a court system that is so blatantly gender biased. Children should not have to decide which parent is better and a court of law shouldn't have the power to either, based on five minutes of testimony between bickering exes. It sickens me.

It's more deplorable when women exploit these weaknesses in the legal system and our society. And then have the audacity to kick a man when he's down because they "won" on an unfair playing field. I guess I just have a soft spot for the underdogs. This is my push back. It's not going to be pretty and I don't care. I've had it. I will not take the high road, ignore these monstrosities and move along with my life. No. If someone didn't want to be featured on my blog then they should have behaved better. With that being said, my writing is not above amendments. I have done so in the past. Errors are edited and true repentance is returned in kind. If any persons would like to be removed from my blog, they can't just ask for it. They have to act right for it.

Make no mistake, I have no problem coming down to someone else's level and beating them on their own turf. So crying to me about being the bigger person, rising above, letting go, or anything appealing to my better nature is a wasted effort. Perhaps, try fixing the actual problem instead of requesting that I refrain from pointing it out.

I could boast that I come from a righteous position and this blog is my retribution, but let's be real. The underlying theme of this blog is:

If you fuck with me, I will fuck with you back.