Parental Alienation and Personality Disorders

This blog was originally posted on Happier Endings on July 21st, 2014.

Now, it's not breaking news that I'm passionate about the Fathers' Rights Movement and Parental Alienation Awareness. I'm active on forums, my own Facebook page, and I speak out often about my positive experiences with co-parenting. I've been on this journey long enough that I've noticed some similar personality traits among the drama baby mamas. It is my opinion that the root of all parental alienation cases is a parent with a personality disorder. Only someone with a legit malfunction could justify emotionally scarring a child for their own selfish reasons, while touting the tired old adage "for the best interest of the child." It's deplorable. There really is no excuse, but there is an explanation.

There are a few personality disorders that tend to be more prevalent in parental alienation: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic and Narcissistic.These disorders are often overlooked because people see behavior as a personality trait and never think they might be the symptoms of a disease. Oftentimes, the closer you are to a person, the harder it is to see that they're sick. (I grew up with a textbook psychopath and never knew it until the neighbor pointed it out. It blew my mind. I just thought he was an asshole.)

Here are some short descriptions of the few disorders:



Antisocial - Impulsive, irresponsible, deviant, unruly. Acts without due consideration. Meets social obligations only when self-serving. Disrespects societal customs, rules, and standards. Sees self as free and independent. People with antisocial personality disorder depicts a long pattern of disregard for other people rights. They often cross the line and violates those rights.


Borderline - Unpredictable, manipulative, unstable. Frantically fears abandonment and isolation. Experiences rapidly fluctuating moods. Shifts rapidly between loving and hating. Sees self and others alternatively as all-good and all-bad. Unstable and frequently changing moods. People with borderline personality disorder has a persuasive pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships.


Histrionic - Dramatic, seductive, shallow, stimulus-seeking, vain. Overreacts to minor events. Exhibitionistic as a means of securing attention and favors. Sees self as attractive and charming. Constant seeking for others' attention. Is characterized by constant attention-seeking, emotional overreaction, and suggestibility. This personality's tendency to over-dramatize may impair relationships and lead to depression, but sufferers are often high-functioning.


Narcissistic - Egotistical, arrogant, grandiose, insouciant. Preoccupied with fantasies of success, beauty, or achievement. Sees self as admirable and superior, and therefore entitled to special treatment. is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings.

Some of these probably resonate more strongly than others when thinking about your craziest of crazy exes. Let me be the first to say that I'm sorry you had to go through that, or that you still are. But there is some comfort in knowing why they are the way that they are. There is also comfort in knowing that it's not you, it's them, despite however much they may blame and manipulate you and everyone else into thinking so. There are support groups for loved ones, but unfortunately not a lot of hope for treatment of the affected individual. They tend to be too deep in their delusions and denial to accept that there is something wrong with them.

I felt it important to explain these things before I continue on with any further blogs about our current parental alienation situation. I will use Natalie for my examples because A) she gives me a lot of screenshots to use as evidence and B) she loves the attention. Natalie has Histrionic and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This comes as no surprise as these two often go hand-in-hand.

A mnemonic that can be used to remember the characteristics of histrionic personality disorder is "PRAISE ME":

• Provocative (or seductive) behavior
• Relationships are considered more intimate than they actually are
• Attention-seeking
• Influenced easily
• Speech (style) wants to impress; lacks detail
• Emotional lability; shallowness
• Make-up; physical appearance is used to draw attention to self
• Exaggerated emotions; theatrical

And some notable symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder:

Expects to be recognized as superior and special, without superior accomplishments

Expects constant attention, admiration and positive reinforcement from others

Envies others and believes others envy him/her

Is preoccupied with thoughts and fantasies of great success, enormous attractiveness, power, intelligence

Lacks the ability to empathize with the feelings or desires of others

Is arrogant in attitudes and behavior

Has expectations of special treatment that are unrealistic

Things you will notice about Natalie's Facebook posts: They are always about her, they are attention-seeking, many will reference her "haters", she will often elude to or outright call herself a victim of something (abuse, bullying, etc.), grandiose self-worth ("I am so awesome!"), and many will talk of her daughter whom she uses as an instrument for her attention-seeking. She rarely uses her daughter's name but opts for the possessive terms "my/mine". As often is the case with narcissistic parents, she sees her child as an extension of herself ("my minime!") and a tool to promote her own self image. Narcissistic parents are often controlling, excessively possessive and often hold unhealthy attachments to their children. They are very sensitive to criticisms of their parenting. Narcissistic parents will go to great lengths to ensure that they are the only parent as they are often envious of the child's bonds with anyone else.