On Today's Episode of Pathological Liars...

Since Duckface wants to call everyone disputing Marisa a 'coward', I thought it might be fun to highlight some of Marisa's brave champions.

Marisa is so gutless she has to send in flying monkeys to her defense. Duckface, Mommy, Latest Step-Daddy, Kristine and Nicole. 

Wait, Kristine and Nicole? Who the fuck are those broads? I don't know, but let's find out!

Kristine sounds like she's pretty in-the-know on Marisa's life. She knows a lot about Steve, too. First hand experience or hearsay? Hmmm... She's also read my blog as she knows my old nickname for Natalie. 

Then enter Nicole. These two must be sisters! They have the same writing style! Exclamation point! And they both know a lot about Marisa and her living situation. Did they visit with Marisa and Steve at the rat-infested house? Hey Steve, if you're reading this blog, can you remember meeting Kristine? Or Nicole? Were they together?

Sidebar: who the FUCK would move themselves and their children into a house that was ALREADY rat infested with dirty piss and shit everywhere? NASTY!

Another blog post and Kristine is back in the comments discussing Marisa's friendship with Amanda. So weird! Amanda must know who Kristine is! Marisa and Amanda were best friends after all. 

Here's Nicole again, following up Kristine's comment. She must be the little sister. Surely, Amanda knows who Nicole is! Nicole knows an awful lot about Amanda and EVERYONE Amanda's ever been "close friends" with. 

Another blog post and another comment. Kristine is very invested in Marisa's life. The two of them must go waaaaaaaaaay back because she knows incredibly intimate details of Marisa's life all the way to her toddler days. AND she knows Sierra? And Sierra's mom? Crazy! She knows that Marisa lived with Joel for 2.5 years. That's pretty specific. 

I don't know you guys. This seems a little suspect. In all the time I've #stalked Marisa I've never seen a Kristine or a Nicole come up on her friends list, in the comments, or so much as like a status. But here they are in full force on Duckface's blog to defend Marisa's honor!

Then I remembered a time when Natalie hit me up to ask, "Does this look weird to you?" when someone commented on her page. 

Hmm... who could this be? A random person or someone from Camp Marisa?

It's weird that "Sierra" doesn't use periods at the end of a comment just like Nicole doesn't.

I did the first thing I always do when investigating a possible catfish account... I dropped the photos in Google Image Search and it got a hit. 

Black hair. Well, that's generic. But something else comes up....

Someone really wants to see Sierra Satterfield naked. So I look up a Sierra Satterfield on Facebook and I pull up this girl:

This account looks a lot more legit than the generic single woman from San Jose account. So on a hunch, I check her friends list...

Well whaddya-fucking-know! That's a hell of a coincidence!

I messaged the real Sierra about the fake account. 

Hey Marisa, the real Sierra wanted me to tell you there's PornHub for a reason. 

So, anyone reading this that's still on Marisa's Facebook, do a quick little search to see if there's a Kristine or Nicole. I'm guessing there isn't.... yet. Quick, Marisa! See what you can smash together for fake accounts before more of your lies are uncovered! Hahaha. If any of you do find Facebook profiles for Kristine and Nicole, see if they pass the sniff test and drop their pictures into Google image search. *Helpful hints from a professional*

I wonder if Duckface was in on it or if she was being duped by Marisa as well? 

Someone Didn't Heed the Commenting Disclaimer.

I was hit with so much material I couldn't decide who to address first. I'll try to tackle it in chronological order.

"Shane" commented on my blog. It got kicked to my spam folder and I almost didn't see it. I guess even Google thinks these people are a joke. I put "Shane" in quotes because I'm not buying it's actually him that commented this. In all the writing samples I've seen of his and Kim's, Shane has never so much as hinted at a paragraph break, but Kim uses them often. Yet, it has the same basic grammar mistakes, so who knows. If it is indeed Shane, congrats on your attempt at writing? *golfclap*

First, let's address Natalie. Natalie's five-year-old daughter was ABUSIVE to Marisa. Holy shit. An adult being abused by a child. Dramatic, much? But let's continue to perpetuate the victim complex.

Natalie stole Marisa's childrens' gift cards. Interesting. This can be proven? Funny, because around the time Marisa was living with Natalie and the big feud began, Marisa was feeding me as much dirt as she could muster on Natalie and never ONCE did she mention stolen gift cards. That seems like something that would make it to the top of the list, don'tcha think?

OR

Marisa lied to her gullible ass enabling parents about the boogieman stealing gift cards so they'd send her more. HMMMMMMMM....

But if you have proof, by all means, please set me straight.

Now let's get to the "marriage"! YES.

I HAVE BEEN FUCKING DYING FOR SOMEONE TO BRING THIS UP.

Indeeeed. There was no marriage license. No paperwork filed. No "husband" and "wife" and "I'm getting a divorce." A sham. All of it.

                          A

                               big

                                     fat

                                            LIE.

Are we really surprised though? Invites were sent out for the fake wedding. A shitty purple suit was acquired to officiate. She changed, and misspelled, her last name on Facebook. Family came all the way from Texas for the fraudulent affair.

Marisa still doesn't have a single legitimate child to her name. Hahaha.

Did her parents know they spent all that money for a bogus wedding? Omg, did y'all buy gifts for the phony newlyweds, too? HAHA. I'm sorry, I keep laughing, but I really can't help myself. I mean, the ceremony was BEAUTIFUL!

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 

They picked out a special TREE for the venue and everything!

Shane dressed up like the Joker, but really joke was on him, right? 

And Marisa, true-to-form is barefoot in the dirt like a pig.

That's the dress she wouldn't shut up about for weeks on Facebook. It looks like she grabbed the only white dress she could find for $4 at Goodwill. 

The whole gang was there for the white trash "wedding"! 

Seriously though, I can't get over her fucking feet. Christ.

How long did she lie about being married? How many lies will it take before these idiots realize she has no respect for them? 

Now let's address Kim. Not a single mother. Just because a woman is not married to her childrens' father(s) does not make her a "single" mother. She's engaged. Not single. Not rocket science. 

She raised three very different daughters while running her own business. Well, she's had her "own business" for 6 years so raising three daughters and running a business wasn't at the same time. But whatever, let's pretend that being a working mother is cause for applause. She's not licensed, so it's questionable if y'all should be advertising that she has a business. That could be considered fraud in some circles. 

Let's discuss Kim's marriage. Her ONE marriage. It seemed it ended due to domestic abuse. Her relationship with Joel was also said to be abusive. Shane exhibits hyper "manly" aggressive tendencies, too. He thinks I should be intimidated. OooOOoOoOooooo... There seems to be a pattern of behavior here. Is it daddy issues, Kim?

Whoa, whoa, wait. What was that charge? 

Daaaaammmmmnnnnn. Didn't Marisa give Gotham/Alaric his middle name? Seems a little inappropriate. This family gets more fucked up the more I dig. 

Wait, is child sexual abuse one of those things we're not supposed to concern ourselves with if we've never met them, never spoken to a day in our life and aren't related to? 

Classic enabler behavior. They want you to stop speaking the truth because it makes them uncomfortable. Did you present this same argument in court to defend your father, Kim? WHY DO THE STRANGERS OF SOCIETY CARE SO MUCH ABOUT WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR FAMILY? IT'S NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS?!

Moving on!

Speaking of moving on, Marisa is "moving on" and trying to get her life together. Yea, she's moving on something alright. Right on to baby daddy #4. THE GRANDPARENTS MUST BE SO PROUD! 

Sweet fuck, Marisa. IT'S A VAGINA, NOT A CLOWN CAR.

How is she around people that are holding her accountable, not enabling her and making her get her life in order? Is she paying rent? Looking for a job? Looking at anything other than her phone? Or is that what we're telling ourselves so we can sleep at night?

"And yes, that doesn't make you the bad guy."

I know, that's what I've been saying!

Real talk though, Shane. Does Marisa's welfare lifestyle align with your core values? What do you think of people that have never worked a job in their lives and only keep cranking out kids to ensure they stay on welfare and food stamps? Is that the kind of person you support? 

How do you feel working two jobs to pay for a lazy whore with 4 kids and working on a 5th?

 Just curious.

Is It Still Shit Talking If It's True?

Y'know what I can't stand? Laziness. Even worse? Laziness coupled with a victim complex.

"I make shitty decisions because I'm too lazy to do shit for myself. When the consequences of those decisions come down, it's someone else's fault my life is garbage."

Here's some solid life advice for everyone: don't date (or worse, marry) someone that has a shitty work ethic. Relationships are work. Lazy people don't want to work, which means they won't put in the effort needed to make a relationship thrive. They'll sit back and soak up attention wherever they can get it, take credit, place blame, cheat, and probably lie. They're entitled, negative, lack goals, never get anything done, spend way too much time on social media, etc. They're fucking leeches and dead weight. We all know the kind. At some point in the working world, we've encountered this type of coworker.

Marisa isn't part of the workforce. She's on the welfare-for-life plan. Her official occupation is breeder. She moves from host to host leeching as much as she can. She's never held a job or paid taxes. She's a burden to her friends, family and society. She's had four kids by three men and has no plans on stopping that gravy train. Even now, while she lives with her sister rent free, she's not filling out job applications so she can lessen the hardship on her sister. She's filling out dating profiles two weeks after leaving her husband. She's not even divorced yet. I can only imagine what her sister must be thinking. At some point she's going to get angry that the "shit talking" we've been doing is true and she's been enabling the "Free Loader" as Natalie calls her. Marisa has her phone in her hand for all of her waking hours. She's a pig and doesn't pick up after herself or her children. She doesn't do laundry and doesn't bother dressing her children. Her laziness is so oppressive it's bordering on neglect. These aren't things that I'm making up, these are facts that can be observed through the incessant snapshots and videos she provides on a daily basis. Her mother wants to come down on me like I'm the bad guy for speaking out about it.

WHY THE FUCK DOES A STRANGER HAVE TO SPEAK UP ABOUT IT? WHY ISN'T HER FAMILY SAYING ANYTHING? WHY ARE THEY HELPING HER? 

How has enabling her helped her in any way? How has she improved her life in the last 9 years? Has she held a job? Paid off a debt? Stood on her own AT ALL? When has she ever acted like an adult? Her mother wants to smack her gums about "high school drama" but continues to enable her mentally high-school aged daughter. Pay her phone bill, buy her clothes, feed her, drive her around... do you do her fucking laundry too, Kim?

How many times have you witnessed her children crying, "Mommy, Mommy, Moooommmmyyyyy" and shes' staring at her phone? I'm starting to wonder if she truly loves her children or if they're just a means to an end. She certainly didn't have any qualms over leaving the older two behind. But those ones don't earn her any more money, do they? The younger ones though... they still count for government checks. Maybe even child support if she has any luck in court.

Kim will never admit to this. That would be admitting her own failure and we can't have that now can we? I wonder how long her husband-to-be will tolerate the bullshit. How many husbands has she burned through herself? We can't say Marisa doesn't come by her welfare state of mind honestly!

Fucking laziness. Laziness coupled with a victim complex and perpetuated by enablers.

Don't get pissed at me for doing something about it. You idiots clearly aren't fixing anything. Sierra should thank me for this blog. She might actually get her house cleaned for a couple weeks.

Oh, and Marisa? Put some fucking socks on your kids at least. It's December. No wonder they've had fevers and snot noses for weeks. Jesus fucking Christ. The fuck is wrong with you all?

Duckface Revisited

Duckface, my fan from last year, started a blog so she can try to be cool like me. There's cuss words like mine has, but it doesn't quite have my flair for facts and grammar so it's a bit hard to follow.

I'm going to dig through this slop of a blog and try to ascertain what Duckface is trying to quack. First, I'll have to sift through the unnecessary Valley Girl conjunctions littered throughout her writing.

Like, literally, omg they're everywhere af.

If I'm reading this correctly, I'm to assume that Natalie is Regina George, I'm the Gossip Girl, and the Fuckboy is Buchner. Shouldn't I be Regina George though? I'm the one with the Burn Book blog which is an ode to Mean Girls. The Gossip Girl references are completely lost on me. I haven't seen a commercial, much less an episode. I don't even know what channel it's on. So help me God, if it's on the fucking CW I'm revoking any semblance of a "boss bitch" card from Duckface. 

Actually, it was 2 blogs bashing Marisa. Counting is hard, I know. There, there. 

Thanks, I know. We probably would get along if we shared the same ethics. I'm pretty fucking rad. 

The hell kind of whack insult is this supposed to be? A Trump supporter AND a child combined? Is that the sort of 'savage' dig that's going to put me in my place? Ha! What sort of qualities does a Trump supporter possess that I resemble? Am I racist? Do I post things like....

Isn't that your baby daddy? Did he vote for Trump? How excited is he about Making America White Again? 

Do I think my 'harassment' of another 'woman' (that's in quotes purposely) is okay? Well, yes. This blog is dedicated to shaming women that I think represent women poorly. Lazy slobs like Marisa make us all look bad. Enabling her doesn't do much to change her ways, but shaming has worked wonders so I will continue as long as necessary. It even worked on you. The duckface photos have decreased significantly in the last year. You had to step up your game to match my level. You even started emulating me by starting a blog, attempting some shame writing and creating a boss bitch page like mine. See how that works? You still have room for growth though. You might even gain some standards.

Why use my 1-year-old son in this reference of women harassing women? Wouldn't my 9-year-old daughter be more appropriate? Sloppy investigative skills paired with weak insults. That's all you could pull up on me? I have a son named Blake and I voted for Bernie?

You spend so much time online and that's the best you could come up with, Betch? (Oh wait, it's Riplie. I thought you were better than to hide behind fake names/pages?) You shouldn't talk any shit about being a bad example for our children. Do you want your son Jack to grow up like his father?

Aspirations of working at Walmart with a drinking and drug problem? Sounds like a real boss bitch life right there. 

Is this for real? Proclaiming yourself a boss bitch does not make you one. You'd have to actually be a boss. Run your own company, or at least manage a team of employees, not be an admin assistant that sits on Facebook all day. You lack the hustle required of a "savage boss bitch". You're lazy and lack ambition. Your sad, lonely blog and little bitty meme page ain't shit. You ain't shit. Your man ain't shit, either. I probably hold more licenses than you, your man, and Marisa put together. Drivers license, occupational license, business license, concealed carry permit. Y'know, grown woman shit. Come talk to me, on my level, when you have "Incorporated" after your name. Until then, take a seat with the other basics and take notes. 

You should consider who you go to battle for. More so, who you go to battle with. You talk about my "stalking" like it's something I should be ashamed of, but did you consider what my stalking might dig up that you might be ashamed of? Do you think your employer would appreciate your posting to Facebook every few minutes while you're on the clock?  What's his name? Kartik? Or are you further down the "boss bitch" ladder than that? Haha. He looks like the kind of guy that takes his business seriously. Maybe you should take his business seriously, too. 

Oh, don't fret little grasshopper. I won't be sending off any emails -- yet. I'm not the one that reports shit. I'm the one that points out your flaws so you can change your own behavior. My methods are painful, I know, but you'll be better for it later. Your thirties are coming. It's time to grow up. Put your nose to the grindstone, stop spending so much daylight on social media, focus on your own drama, and get your head right. Drinking, smoking and being so proud of it is pubescent shit. How about getting a credit score high instead? Ditch that dead-weight loser that still hasn't given you a new last name. You want to talk like a boss? Try acting like one instead. 

Climb.

Good Housekeeping

I was going to blog yesterday but decided to clean my house in Marisa's honor.

Here you go, Marisa. This is what I use to keep my house in order as a working mom of two and has a man that likes to spend a lot of time outdoors.

You can keep that. It's my gift to you.

Marisa wanted to respond to my blog post, via Instagram, because she'd rather put all her nasty business on display for her "friends" instead of coming to me directly on my blog. Not that I mind her attention-seeking decision. It gives my blog more views and follows. Thanks!

Marisa never believed in divorce until she found out that marriage is work. Oookay. She's crying about circumstances that were completely in her control. She decided to get knocked up twice in two years. She decided to be a stay-at-home mom because she's so lazy and useless she won't get a job. She feels "overwhelmed" with household chores and not getting enough time to herself. Which is abso-fucking-lutely ludicrous because as I'm about to show, the household chores NEVER got done and she spent 90% of her waking hours on her phone, ignoring her children. How much more "alone" time could one person need? 

Oh, I can blog about you. And I will. Because I don't give a fuck who's on what side. I only care about what I can prove. Steve and I aren't friends and haven't spoken a single word to each other. He only recently unblocked me. I heard he was displeased with my blogs because I post things I shouldn't have. Oh well! P.s. it's *you're

And yes, naming your child with aspirations of him becoming an "all powerful ruler" to live up to his name is white trashy. Goat herder seems more realistic. 

This was her job description. Care for her family, not have her nose in her phone at all hours. Manage household affairs, not expect her husband to. Do housework. DO. FUCKING. HOUSEWORK. It's really not hard. 

This chick. Haha. First off, I highly doubt Steve didn't want to spend time with his new son. But let's just pretend that Marisa isn't full of shit and give her the benefit of the doubt on that. She's still bitching that she has to be a parent to two kids under 2 when she made the decision to get pregnant that soon. Sorry, not sorry you have to be accountable for your idiotic life choices! 

"He refused to get an actual job". This is my favorite part. Didn't she mention in her opening statement that Steve was always working or outside? She's actually complaining that he doesn't work enough when she has NEVER held a job to take care of her kids! Ha! She's legit mad about her host not providing enough for her parasitic ways. 

"He doesn't have a license so he's driving around illegally" PAUSE little Miss Hypocrite. Do you have a license? Or have you been such a bum that you can't even provide your own transportation? 27 years old and can't drive. La-hooo-za-herrr. 

Let's take a trip down memory lane.

So, she didn't even have a permit much less a license. But lied to a judge. And if she doesn't think having a license is relevant for being a responsible parent, what does it matter if her husband did? 

Also curious if she's paid child support for the two children she lost custody to? Can I get an ex to confirm for me? I have a hunch.

Alright, enough of that. Let's get to the really grody shit. 

Since Marisa wants to whine that her husband didn't do enough for her, let's see what Marisa brought to the marriage!

So proud of her growing belly. But so oblivious to the mess she lives in that she didn't notice there's a full bag of trash knocked over and spilling out behind her. There was a crawling aged child living in the home at the time. Could you imagine the smell? Ugh.

Let's talk about Marisa's personal hygiene. She is so grotesque that she wouldn't shower or brush her hair to the point that she had to cut the knots out of her hair! Good Lord!

MORE THAN ONE TIME! And she advertised that shit on Instagram! How fucking REPULSIVE can one be?! I don't even know how Steve managed to fuck her at least twice to produce children. No wonder the dude had to be stoned all the time. Sweet Jesus.

LOOK AT THIS SHIT. 

FUCKING LOOK AT IT!

There was a crawling infant living in this house!!

CRAWLING.

INFANT.

Every time I see these pictures it makes me want to puke. Hell, even if I puked on my kitchen floor and left it for a week it STILL wouldn't look like this. 

YOUR PROJECT OF THE DAY SHOULD BE TO GET DOWN ON YOUR MOTHERFUCKING HANDS AND KNEES WITH BLEACH AND CLEAN YOUR FUCKING KITCHEN. 

I can't. 

That's the fucking KITCHEN, you guys. Where FOOD is made. The child is TOUCHING that counter!!

*gag*

Not that Marisa actually prepared real food. Or bothered to dress her children. I imagine they never had clean clothes to wear because laundry would be too much of an "overwhelming" task to ask of a useless housewife. She gave her toddler an ENTIRE ice cream cone. Who the fuck does that? WHY WAS SHE STILL BREEDING? 

No wonder Marisa and the kids are always sick. Can you imagine the kind of disease their systems are combating on a daily basis from living in filth? This is how you get the plague. 

I'm going to go take a shower now. And mop my floor. Again. This whole post gave me the heebie jeebies. But please, feel free to tell  me in the comments how *I'm* the monster here. 

[Insert retching sounds.]

Ever Heard of Hollister, CA?

Fun fact about the author:

She went to high school at San Benito in a little bitty gossipy town called Hollister, CA. Some of you may have heard of it? Funny thing about small towns is that everyone knows each other and loves to talk about who's sleeping with whom, who posted a gross selfie, who's been nominated as biggest loser.

And who went on a rant on Instagram.

Hahahahaha.

I'm off on Wednesday. I'll get to posting screenshots then. Smooches!

Patience Stronger Than Wedding Vows

Remember awhile back when Natalie had a friend that called me a whore? And then I screenshotted her life? Well, she ended up getting back together with baby daddy #3. I was ready and waiting for the ensuing train wreck.

There was a bunch of shit in the middle, but let's just skip to the fun stuff, m'kay?

Wait, wait. Before I get to the recent screenshots I just want to share this one. Because I like to have ample foreshadowing and irony in my storytelling.

Okay. Let's begin. 

As of January 28th, 2016 the lovebirds were back on like they hadn't missed a beat. Their friends were left feeling like they'd missed the memo. 

In the same speed-dating style as the year prior, they're engaged within the typical employment probationary period. Because we learned our lesson the last time?

But it's Junkie approved, so it must be destined for eternity!

#RIP

One week later and he's already her husband? Umm, no. She's just confused how the process of courtship works. Boyfriend > Fiance > then Husband. 

I don't know who this was directed at, but it's all pretty funny now.  Edit: I found the old screenshot. Nothing says shotgun wedding quite like, "How do I spell my last name, again?"

They made it legal 2 months after that.

6 weeks and the newlyweds are sooooo happy! That's a change of heart from the last time around!

Can I just say that Steve's mom makes me laugh, though? "Haha" indeed, Shell!

Another ironic post.

The still-newlyweds seem to be getting along, joking about their daughter together. 

Sidebar: In the year or so of their marriage, they had a son. Marisa was thoroughly convinced that breastfeeding was 100% effective birth control. There was some controversy over the naming of that child. Should it follow suit with the basic white trash names Marisa is so fond of? Or should Steve be able to name the extra mouth he has to feed? 

Do I smell blood in the water?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's only been 26.5 hours since we were a big ol' happy family! But, damn I love it when they argue with each other on public forums like adults. 

That escalated quickly. Unhealthy living conditions? Like, rats? Trash everywhere? A disgusting, nasty, lazy mess left by a slovenly housewife with no job? Might I also mention all of this transpired in less than 48 hours since the parenting inside-jokes?

"Whoa what?" I wish I could say I'm surprised, but I'm not a liar. Amused? Just a pinch. 

Papers were filed. Their marriage lasted 16 months. Wow.

For what it's worth, I am also 'feeling entertained'. 

At this point I was watching her life burn down in real time. Yes, I had popcorn. 

I don't think she's taking it well. 

I'll be sure to keep an eye out as this story develops. 

Let's see this one again: